When I was younger, I can remember my parents being very involved in church. My mom played the piano for 3 churches and my dad would play the trombone and both were in choir. My sister and I also did choir and I did drama and worship team. When I got married and moved to WW, we got involved in a church there. My ex did the projector and sound and I was on worship playing piano and singing. We then moved to another area and my ex did the same thing at that church. I was way more involved. I was on worship, helped in kids, and I worked the info booth. I loved it and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Most churches do have guidelines they ask of their volunteers so that they know they can be counted on. One church you had to be at church at least 2 times a month and serving on another team. Otherwise it as usually that you needed to be able to attend all practices and be available on your Sunday for worship. I was already actively going to church anyways so it was easy to fulfill the requirements. However, none of the requirements have been this severe (don't worry, I'll explain) and I feel it takes away from people who have the heart and the ability to serve but can't because of the extreme requirements, I feel those people are being robbed of an opportunity (me included). Let me explain.
When I was on worship team, regardless of what church I was involved with at the time, I took my responsibilities serious. I was always practicing playing the songs, making sure I got my parts down, and practicing vocally. I would show up for every practice whether I was on the next week or not. If we did events outside of church, I was ready to volunteer or help in some way (like prepare music for it). I did take piano lessons once when I could afford it from one of my worship leaders but then I got divorced and that changed that plan. But it wasn't required. I did it because I wanted to be better and understand music more and learn to play differently.
With covid finally calming down and my church opening up fully, I decided I wanted to email the worship pastor and ask him if I could get a list of songs or music from him so I could practice the music and be ready to audition (both for piano and vocal) in the fall. The email response I got was that I had to go regularly to church (understandable which is why I said fall since we were gonna be gone a lot this summer), had to sign up for something else (which I don't want to do), had to join a small group (which I can't cause the ones they have that I would go to aren't during evenings), and I HAD to take voice lessons (no ifs, ands, or buts about it). Now before I go further, I have history with the worship pastor. He was at one of my old churches and would always pass on me. I couldn't be a part of the team because I was never good enough, pretty enough, or rich enough. And while he never came out and said that to me, it was obvious by the people allowed on the worship team. For instance, my dad played trombone in the church band for dramas and Christmas services and what not. My dad cheated on my mom and was asked to no longer play in the bad because of it (which I support 100%). However, when 2 of the married people (not to each other) on worship team cheated (with each other), they were not asked to step down and remained in the spotlight in spite of their cheating. This was only a small hint of how the person operated and it broke my heart when I saw he was the pastor at my current church.....
I want to play and sing so bad on the worship team and will more than likely not get that chance now because of the history with the pastor for one and for two, his requirements are financially unattainable for me and there is no wiggle room on it. I even asked if it was offered through the church and there has been no response at all and it's been a month.....I want to play so badly that I even considered playing for a friends church (still am!) that doesn't line up completely with my beliefs or way of worship but would have allowed me to play and sing every single week because they need someone. I chose not to for several reasons, one being it starts at 3pm and another being that musically, we wouldn't work out. But it's been nagging me in the back of my mind. I've even considered going to another church where I could essentially start over but I refuse to uproot my kids when they are FINALLY getting involved in a church and making friends and actually looking forward to going to church. I feel we should stay because they want to stay and have friends there. They aren't a bad church just bigger than I like and easier to slip through the cracks. I only went because of friends (well, use to be anyways) that went there who only go when it makes them look really good (like Christmas and Easter and father's day and mother's day and so on). Now I stay because of my kids.
So what do I do? Worship team is obviously NOT going to happen and my want/need to play/sing is also NOT going to happen except in the privacy of my own garage! Do we find another church that my kids can get involved in and I can get involved in that is preferably smaller or do I suck it and stay put knowing I won't get to be on worship? This may seem like a simple answer or a silly problem to you but it's not and it's been a huge struggle for me and on my mind constantly. I hate being in this position and honestly, shouldn't have to be. But I am and I honestly do not know what the right decision is. Input and advice is very welcomed!
