Love on tv is very romanticized. They always have these amazing dates and they will end with rose petals every where and candles lit along the walkway. They have these super passionate kisses and the intense romantic love making that every teen/young adult lady dreams will happen to them. They get married young, some save themselves for marriage and others marry the one they lost their virginity to. They might have some struggles but nothing that they can't over come. Very rarely do they end in divorce and if they do, they remain friends. Nothing is ever too difficult for them to fix and they are always helping each other out. I don't know, maybe for some, they really do get this type of love but it's not what true love is. I don't even think it reflects the honeymoon phase. Sure, you are probably more lovey dovey and you're less likely to fight and more likely to have more sex but I don't like it's as romantic or intense as the tv makes it seem to be. They don't always how the work that goes with being in love with someone. The fact you have to sometimes choose daily to love the person you are with even when you were just fighting. Loving someone is hard work.
Did you know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Did you know that 41% of first marriages end in divorce? And while I know of like 1 couple that remained friends even after divorce, most couples not only do not remain friends but barely remain on speaking terms! If they are on speaking terms, more then likely they have kids they have to co-parent! I will have been divorced 5 years this Nov. I am just not starting to get on speaking terms with my ex. He is no longer causing drama or saying mean and hateful things. He is actually listening to me and mostly responding in a good way. He is also finally starting to spend more time with his kids which is huge! But we will never reach a point where we will be 'friends' who go to dinner and hang out with our significant others. And our marriage sucked. Don't worry, he'd agree. I think we got married because we didn't want to end up alone. We thought we were mostly like minded, attractive, and christian. Good enough for us. We were marriage 12 years. 12 long years. 12 years of being completely unhappy and miserable. Turns out, we also weren't sexually attracted to each other either! It didn't end well either but that's a story for another time! The point is, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows and we spent most of our marriage fighting. Not fighting for each other or fighting for our love. We were fighting with each other about everything. And sadly, that's what our kids remember about us. Sure we had some fun times but those were not the things we remembered sadly. Honestly, the divorce was best for us both and I have never been happier than I am now. Can't say the same for him. Which brings me to my current marriage.
I love my husband more than anything. We dated for almost 3 years before we got married and have now been married just over a year. Things aren't perfect by any means. We fight like normal couples and then we are rough housing an hour later like nothing happened. We communicate, we love, we laugh, we fight, we have fun. We actually have family wrestling matches and have a blast together! This is what a normal good marriage is like. You have your ups and downs but we have way more ups then we do downs. We travel together, we dream together, we make plans together. We talk about everything even when we are on complete opposite sides of line. We are really good together. I have never felt more loved and respected as a wife and mother then I have with my current husband. And while he doesn't say the words 'I love you' all the time, his actions show it daily. No we don't have passionate love making every single time. No we don't have passionate kisses every single time. That isn't reality. What we have is 2 people who will always fight for their love. We choose each other daily and that is how it should always be!
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