My favorite phrase to hear on a regular basis....ok not really but I am told this one all the time. Here's the back story. I am a Christian. I have been a Christian all my life. When I got married and had kids, we knew we would raise our kids in the church. I am now since divorced and remarried and still raising my kids in the church. I reached a point in my life when I was younger that I knew I would have to start knowing why I believed what I believed. Some people learn this and start to think for themselves and some people don't learn from this and their answer will always be 'because the Bible said so' or 'because my parents said so'. This is because the parent failed in their job which is to prepare their child for the world, teach them to think for themselves and to not rely on everyone else. However, simply teaching them the 'Christian' way is not brainwashing.
Let's look at the definition of brainwashing. Brainwashing: Noun. the process of pressuring someone into adopting radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible means.
So, if you are sitting your child in a chair every day forcing them to listen to you and basically telling them they will not get their lunch if they don't believe in Jesus, then yes, you are brainwashing your child. But to simply raise them in church, teach the the ways of 'Christians', is not brainwashing. People really need to understand this. If you really wanted to, you could say that any teaching you give your child, good or bad, could be brainwashing them. Shoot, even discipline could be you brainwashing your child to do what is right. Let me give you some examples.
Example one: Your child is hitting their sibling constantly. This is not ok behavior. To correct his behavior, parents will spank or ground said child. You are giving a negative reaction to a negative thing and hope that they will associate it the two together and never do it again. ie: when I hit my sister, I lose my video game time. But couldn't that also be seen as brainwashing? I mean you are using force to make the child stop behaving a certain way.
Example two: I hate the Ravens football team. I raise my child to hate them as well making sure that every chance I get, I dis on the Ravens and say bad things about them. That could technically be seen as brainwashing. I have seen this done but mostly the parent was joking. Sometimes the kid would agree and sometimes the would disagree but they were raised to have an opinion regardless of what mom and dad think. But it could be seen as brainwashing....
See what I mean? I am not forcing my child to believe in God. I take them to church to hear about God. I pray over them every night before bed. We listen to Christian music (not all the time) and they read the bible app on their phone before bed at times (specially when they aren't home overnight with me). But I have always told my children that while I hope some day they will believe in God themselves and make that their choice, that I will respect them regardless of what they choose. I don't believe in gay marriage and my kids know that. However, they also know that if that is the life they choose, I will still be there for them. I don't agree with abortion (not even talking about rape here) but again, if my girls made the choice to have sex and abort their baby, I would still be there for them. It's called being a parent. Kids will grow up to do and believe their own things. It doesn't matter if we agree with them or not. You teach them the things you want them to learn. You're going to introduce them to the movies, books, music you like. You are going to teach them what political party you affiliate with and hope they grow up and think like you. But that is all it is, teaching. And if you are good at it, they will know how to think for themselves, regardless of what you believe. So stop telling parents they are brainwashing their kids when they take them to church. They aren't, they are just doing what they feel is best for their kids and unless they are harming the child, it's none of your damn business. Parenting is hard enough, we don't need your judgmental stares.
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