Some Days Are Hard

Found this quote today and it's everything I have ever wanted in the people around me. I finally have a partner who actually does this and it's amazing how different our marriage is and how much better and healthier it is. However, with friends, I have yet to find this and I hate it. I am the type of person that if I really like you as a person and want to be your friend, I put a crap ton of effort into the relationship. I do for some that I am not that close to as well but found that to be exhausting and since they didn't really put the effort in either, I just kind of let those become surface relationships. However, I have some people I have poured countless energy into and continued to for awhile until I realized that no matter what I do or how much energy I pour into people, I will not get the same thing in return. That realization hurt more than anything. It goes back to my blog post of am I enough. The people I poured into purposely were people I felt I wanted in my life. I wanted to be their friend. I wanted to know them. They were worth the time and effort I was putting into them. Even the people I have known a long time who are still a part of my life, I poured lots into and, while we got along great and talked regularly, didn't get it reciprocated. All I have ever wanted was someone to text me first, message me first, talk to me first, ask me to hang first. Not always. That's the point of relationships. You both put into the relationship. You both do the texting and inviting and hanging out. It shouldn't be one sided and most of mine have been. 

This has been on my mind a lot lately, especially since losing some very close friends, 3 of whom I really miss and really poured into! Regardless, all relationships should be 2 sided. Ok, well almost all. Kids till a certain point would be harder to be 2 sided! But you get the general point. People want to know they are valued for who they are. That people want to get to know them and want to be their friend. It doesn't matter who they are or how much confidence they have or whether or not they would admit it, everyone wants to know they matter and not just to their significant others or family but to their friends as well. Seriously, let those people around you know they matter to you. Invite them first for a change. Text them first. Send them a random 'glad we're friends' card in the mail or pop in just to check in on them. Something to let them know they really do matter to you. Trust me, they will truly appreciate it!